Many years ago, The Bearded Man was just a young impressionable waitress staring out the window of the stupid diner where he worked his stupid job. His lyrical observations on the crappiness of his situation, although crude and simple, were interesting to middle America. Something about his matter-of-fact lyrics appealed to your regular Joe-six-packs throughout the country. Yes The Bearded Man may have looked like a woman back in those days, and a woman who wasn't a particularly good singer at that. Still MTV saw something in him and gave him the chance of a lifetime to be on the channel. Who would've guessed that the poems he wrote back then would make it all the way to 2016? Much less, imagine his surprise to learn that his once dreary acapella had now become an upbeat tribute to the glorious island life that he loved so much? “Alright Twax,” he thought to himself, “I see what you did there.” As the sun began to set on his cabana, he pondered on just how far he’d come since he was that innocent waitress in Tom’s Diner. “Life is weird,” he mused, “let's play some shuffleboard.”